Mindfulness in the Kitchen

In this moment I am rejoicing in the visual beauty of food.

As promised, this is installment 2 in a series on the topic of mindfulness and food. Enjoy!

When we prepare meals mindfully, we are expressing love. Yep, that’s the gist of it. Hey, did I really summarize this whole post in one sentence? Wow, I just impressed myself. Okay ego, calm down (sheesh).

So if you stop for a moment and think about it, you may notice that humans often treat food simply as sustenance. Food is sustenance, yes. But it is so much more than just something that fills our bellies when they grumble. We are living in a society where preparing and eating food has become a rushed, stressful, and unhealthy activity - psychologically and physiologically.

Sometimes I just want to shout “Slow down, world!” because there is nothing that is so important that it’s worth risking your or your loved ones’ health (and potentially life). This is a lesson that I myself have had to learn. At one point in my life, I was working 50-60 hours a week, taking 3 college courses, and coordinating a research project for a non-profit. I was overwhelmed, and my nutrition (and my family’s) seemed to get the raw end of the deal. I became very sick with non-epileptic seizures that were completely debilitating. Yikes! I was definitely not living in the moment. I have slowed down (the universe must have been looking out for me, because it put the right circumstances in my way) and I have had an opportunity to experience the beauty of life on the slow side (Luke, I am your father. Come to the slow side.). I feel as if this opportunity has led me to be more committed to a practice of mindfulness and deliberateness in my beliefs, decisions and actions.

So, have you ever eaten something that you knew was cooked with love? I mean love, people. The kind that makes you fill your lungs with breath and gives you tingles throughout your body (oh, the pleasures of oxytocin). Stop for a moment and let that feeling wash over you anew. Focus. Breathe. Be in the moment. Experience love and well-being. C’mon really. No one will know. ;)


How does that feel? Believe it or not, you can create that feeling of oxytocic well-being anytime you want to (after all, you just did from reading a few words on a screen). When I had hit a low point in my health, I wanted to embody that feeling and bring health back into my life. So I started to create that experience through food. In retrospect, it seems like a logical place to start, but it was more of a spontaneous process that ultimately became a critical component of reconnecting with my body and mind and with others in a healthy way.

Sometimes Jiro, the sushi chef nutcracker, helps me stay mindful in the kitchen. If Jiro was in your kitchen, you'd be mindful too!

So here it comes. Brain talk. I mean, can we really talk about food without it? In our everyday world, we usually associate food with our sense of taste, but our other senses are very much at work and they are a ripe opportunity for mindfulness during food preparation.

In the brain, it’s the olfactory pathways that receive and process our sense of smell. An odor molecule comes into the nose and is translated into signals that move along an olfactory nerve bundle which end at the septal area. The septal area is considered our brains’ “pleasure center” and it’s part of the limbic system that regulates emotions. The interaction of olfactory nerves and the septal area is what causes us to have strong emotional responses to smells. Therefore, one of the easiest ways to deliberately create a loving cooking experience is to focus on various smells that are encountered during the process. When we stop and smell something wonderful, we can simply notice that our brain focuses on the scent and turns off thoughts and other input, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Allow yourself to try this delightful experience of just being with smell (I know, the words just come out wrong. I cannot do the experience justice.).

Seriously, can the smell of these bring you back to the moment?

Similarly, sound can be a powerful tool for being in the moment. Our brains are constantly hearing, categorizing, and labeling the sounds around us. During food preparation, notice the sounds of your process; the knife slicing through a melon (it’s a beautiful sound, can you imagine it now?), or the sound of boiling soup (which sounds different from boiling water), or the singing sound of sizzling. Even the clang of metal on metal, cupboard doors banging, the refrigerator opening; these are interesting and sometimes fascinating sounds. Experience them as they are, without labels or judgments. If you notice categorizing or labeling going on, stop and refocus on the sound, just the sound. Practice right now. Close your eyes. Let the sounds just come and go. No one will know, I assure you.

Chop vegetables, pour water

Did you notice that when you focused attention on just the sound, thoughts and other sensory input vanished momentarily? Ah, being in the moment. There’s nothing like it. Try it also with your sense of touch.

Your sense of touch is very powerful

Okay, so back to my zingy introductory sentence. What does all of this have to do with expressing love? First of all. When you allow yourself the gift of being in the moment, you are giving yourself love. When you give yourself love - truly, deeply and without reservations (thanks for that, Anthony Bourdain), then you start to come from a place of love in your interactions with the world. I don’t mean conditional love, where someone has to believe or behave in ways that you want. I mean, you will just love, period.

Funny how one thing can lead to another like that.

So, if you’re living the crazy life and want to make a change. Stop, focus your attention, be in the moment, be love. Can you do this a little bit every day? Say it with me “Challenge accepted!”

Postscript: Did Darth Vader really believe the dark side was better? I mean, c’mon!

Mindfulness of Food, or Food of Mindfulness?

This is blog 1 of 3 on the topic of mindfulness and food. I think that shopping is actually a really important part of our relationship with food, so that is the topic of the first blog. Following that, I will share how mindfulness in preparing food has fostered an attitude of gratitude in my family. The last blog on this topic will explore how eating with mindfulness can improve a person’s relationship to food – and potentially lead to a crossover effect in other areas of life.

Why is mindfulness with food so important?

Our body is constantly in the process of utilizing nutrients and minerals that it gets from food. Cells are engaged in an ongoing process of absorption, building, maintenance, trash-removal, and at some point, programmed cell death. This natural process can be interrupted when components of our diet are missing or in excess, resulting in a state of unbalance – or poor health. This is why mindful consumption of food and drinks is so important.

A wholesome diet helps our bodies and brains functional at their best

I’ve found that applying a practice of mindfulness to one area of my life has impacted many other areas of my life. For example, decades ago I began being more mindful in my relationship with my husband. I made a concerted effort to be compassionate and love him as he is. Dang was that hard! No, not because he was unlovable (I know that’s what you were thinking!), but because this was a mindset I was unaccustomed to and it forced me to confront some pretty selfish aspects of my personality  that were essential acting as the source code, writing the program of my beliefs and behaviors.  Ultimately, the rewards (the improved quality of our relationship) inspired me so much that I started to apply some of the same principles in other parts of my life. This has been rewarding and definitely lightening the heaviness of the business of life (it has been most difficult in parenting. My little monkeys really know how to test me!). I believe that mindfulness toward food is one path that can be really rewarding for most people and can help cultivate mindfulness in other aspects of a person’s life. It’s contagious.

Shopping mindfully – isn’t that an oxymoron?

For most of us, when we were just little tykes, food was one area where we could assert independence and personal power – much to the chagrin of our parents. Over time, this kind of power play can lead to the adoption of lifelong unhealthy habits related to food and eating (notice that I said can – because power is complex, psychologically speaking, and there is a wide range of factors that can influence its rise and demise). While I’m all for helping kids to establish a sense of independence, sometimes food as a tool can backfire. In my fantasy world, we would all have the wherewithal to recognize how we, and others, use food as a power tool as well as the ability to transform unhealthy behaviors to healthy behaviors. But I know - reality bites. Nevertheless, I am an optimist – I refuse to let go of my fantasy world.

Let’s be frank. While it’s practically impossible to approach food and eating without bumping up against some power issues here and there, we can increase our knowledge about foods that we choose to eat and how they impact our bodies and minds. And that’s empowering and liberating!

There are some really practical considerations when you are making an effort to be mindful about your relationship to food. The process of shopping is our first foray into mindfulness with food and one of the most important considerations. Now I love a good process. To me process is what is needed to achieve any goal (whether that goal is to obtain a possession or to let go and be in the moment). A process begins with a single step, followed by another step, and another. If it wasn’t for these small steps, I would feel OVERWHELMED! This is why I love processes. They allow me to take one step at a time and recognize my progress! Even tiny progressions feel good (can you say “dopamine rush”? Yep, that’s what’s happening in your brain when you give yourself positive feedback for an accomplishment!).

Since we all have processes that differ a bit from each other, I don’t want to be a taskmaster with a list of do’s and don’ts. It’s important that you find a process that works for you and that keeps you focused on a state of mindfulness, whether you are planning, shopping, preparing foods, or eating. But planning ahead is probably the most critical component, because if we start there, the other components will have a greater tendency to fall in line. If we prepare well, we’re more likely to have the result we want to have. So, instead of trying to be an expert on what you should do, I will share with you the process for planning and shopping that works for me.

In my household, we keep an ongoing list on the fridge. This is for people to track what they’ve used up that needs to be replaced (or will soon). I think most people use this method. Granted, if I relied solely on this, we’d starve. Our list only moderately meets the purpose for which it was intended. Usually cheese, milk, spices and coffee make the list regularly. Most other things just don’t make it on the list. Yeah… I’m not naming names (*cough, cough* teenagers).

Besides the ongoing list, I have this magical tool that I call the umbrella list. I know, such a clever name, right? This is a list of all of the goods that I buy on a regular basis. As you might expect, I have it categorized according to food group for ease of shopping. I run through the list before I leave to go shopping to make sure I am stocked up on essentials, checking the fridge and pantry to confirm (I have anxiety about over-shopping as I’m on a tight budget, and I cringe at throwing away food that’s gone bad – even if it is going out to compost pile). This list really helps me stay organized and keeps me focused when I’m in the store.

My "umbrella list". Useful even when its not raining.

Some of my stalwart (wow, where did that word come form?) shopping tips:

• I make sure I eat before I shop. Admittedly, I have stopped for a muffin or bagel at the coffee shop under less than ideal circumstances. But it’s better to spend the $1.75  up front than $10 in extra groceries (usually the high-fat, high-carb variety) because I was shopping with my stomach instead of my head!
• I don’t shop with children. 'Nuff said. Even stubborn teenagers can try to bribe you - or heaven forbid, use some form of incomprehensible social logic - to con you into buying junk food!
• I often allow myself to buy one or two things that are not on my list (usually Druid Circles from Trader Joe’s - a little bit of heaven, I tell you), but I limit how much extra I am allowed to spend. I am usually very strict with myself, like a parent is with a child. Hey – whatever works, right?
• I only use coupons for items I buy regularly. This is because coupons in the weekly mailer are often for foods that are not healthy (i.e. quick foods that have too much, fat, sugar, and/or salt) or for personal products that contain a lot of toxins. These items are almost never on my shopping list. It may sound a little boring, but my list is close to the same each week (with some variation, like seasonal produce, so that I don’t fall into a culinary rut). The creativity come in the preparation.
• Shopping can be stressful these days as a result of so much media attention on the dangers of pesticides and GMO foods. The process of genetically modifying foods was initially to increase things like bug and mildew resistance, but now most are genetically modified so that foods can withstand frequent pesticide showers. Where, oh where did we go wrong?! As a consequence, I have written down the produce Dirty Dozen (pesticide laden) and Clean 15 (naturally pest resistant or less pesticide use) on a notecard that makes itself very useful during shopping expeditions. I update this list every year because agricultural practices are always changing. This list helps me choose healthier alternatives that have fewer toxins when I can’t afford organic options. 

The Clean 15 and Dirty Dozen.

• I read labels. After some time when I really started to shop conscientiously, I memorized which foods have the least harmful ingredients and I now can beeline it through a store like nobody's business. If a product has any of the following, I avoid it like the plague: nitrates and nitrites, dough conditioners (like bromine) that make bread fluffy, foods in metal cans which have a BPA lining (especially acidic foods that leach the toxins), artificially sweetened products, high fructose corn syrup, palm oil, carrageenan, and trans fats (which are found in foods with partially hydrogenated oils). I am always learning more and always checking labels on new products. It’s just what you have to do in today’s world. Oh, you've probably already imagined me blissfully pushing my card down the isle, smiling and laughing will all the people I meet. Sickly sweet and nothing like reality. But funny as hell. They should do a skit like that on Portlandia (is that show still running?). Even funnier - my shopping basket is carefully organized according food type. Cereals and boxed goods go together - aligned by size. Cold items separate. Veggies and fruits. Non-foods. My excuse for this strange behavior is that it helps with bagging (but its really an OCD thing. really.)

Setting Intentions

Here’s the neat part for me. When I am going to go shopping, I deliberately set an intention (disclaimer: I often set an intention, but not every time. I do have bad days after all, if you haven't gathered that already. And this is usually done in the car before I head in. Talk about last minute goal-setting!). I usually set an intention that goes something like “I am shopping from a place of love.” I know, sounds totally corny, but it works for me. This intention covers my basic criteria: (1) I am buying foods that nurture and create health in my family, (2) I am adopting an attitude of enjoyment for the colors, smells and sounds I experience while shopping, (3) I am embracing an attitude of respect and patience with other people I encounter, and (4) I am maintaining awareness of the environmental and social consequences of my purchases. When I do this, shopping can be a very positive mindfulness experience. In fact, when I shop with a clear intention and with determination to follow it, I actually enjoy shopping. 

How do intentions work? Have you heard of the law of attraction? It essentially says that where you put your attention, that's what will happen. It's great for cultivating an attitude of abundance (but apparently not abundance of an empirical nature). So while not scientifically proven, the process of creating intentions has been powerful for me. As a young adult, I used affirmations and intentions to work against all of the psychological conditioning that had told me I wasn’t good enough or deserving enough. This lengthy process resulted in my ability to change where I focused my attention which actually changed my beliefs and then my behaviors. Intention is a lot like a muscle. It needs to be used regularly to stay strong and flexible. So when I create intention before shopping and I maintain my focus on that goal, some primal delight bubbles up in me and I do crazy, dangerous things like smile at other people in the store or let other drivers go ahead of me.  If you live in New England,like I do, you know the crazy looks people give you when you smile at them or if you're a polite driver. To be fair, there are often circumstances during a shopping trip that can pull me out of this focused, congenial state. A screaming toddler, people yelling at their kids or each other. All kinds of things. This is where a regular mindfulness practice comes in handy because it becomes second nature. As soon as I notice I’m not in a space of loving-kindness, I take a breath and remember my intention. With a second breath, I simply allow myself to refocus. If you try this, you might also leave the store feeling energized, instead of stressed and frazzled.

In the next post, I'll talk about how I've learned to be more mindful when preparing food - a challenging task in our crazy rushed world. But the challenge keeps me on my game, and the reward is a healthy relationship with food for me, and (hopefully) my whole family.

This Brain on Curiosity

I have had the distinct privilege of studying the brain. Oh, the incredible, fascinating, intense, dynamic brain! My study has been twofold. I have watched a decades-long emergence of my own mind from a primordial fog of distractions and thoughts. I also have some book learning of the anatomy and function of this astoundingly complex loaf of gray matter. What happens when the chocolate bar of mindfulness and the peanut butter of neuroscience come together... two great tastes in one!

(I can't resist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJLDF6qZUX0)

Okay, I freely admit that few of my friends (read: none) are as deeply fascinated and in love with the brain as I am. It calls to me, saying "Caroline, I am your brain, come to the nerdy side". And I follow its call like the brain-o-philic college student that I am. But as that process has unfolded, I have encountered some complex dilemmas.

I started adulthood wanting to wear the rose-colored glasses of Eastern religion. I wanted to be a peace-loving, granola-eating , tree-hugging, mystical hippie. Yeah, that happened. I was pretty much happy with that. I wore Birkenstocks. Then education got in the way and my worldview became increasingly more complex. Yes, there is beauty in complexity, but there is also confusion.

Ohm, baby!

I study psychology. A science. Some call it a "soft" science. But that makes it sound like a jellyfish; wishy-washy and spineless. A lot of what I've learned is "hard" science. For example, neuroanatomy, neurotransmission, and lots of empirical research (behavior is pretty darn observable).  During this incredible learning journey, new information and beliefs have head-butted my highly impressionable hippie self into a mud puddle.

One question has resonated throughout my brain. Over and over. "How do I reconcile science and mysticism?" I am passionate about both, but they aren't like peas and carrots (which apparently go together delightfully). Rather, they are like WWE actors: beating each other up with their dogmas, throwing insults and generally being utterly self-centered toddlers. In my perspective, science is just as much faith-based as, well, faith. "What's your evidence?", you ask. When I am refuting science with mysticism, I can only reply with "Empirical evidence is illusory."

I look to ancient texts for my decidedly non-empirical "evidence". The Bhagavad Gita hints that all matter is illusory. In this ancient tome, Lord Krishna, by way of some outrageous wordiness, states somewhat cryptically that our shared belief in the material realm brings about its existence. Our collective agreement is that we Earthly beings will share the same sensory input signals, neural processing, and interpretation that allows us to perceive a shared physical world. Believe and Perceive = critical concepts here.

If you've ever connected with the divine, a perception wholly distinct from any physical sensations, then you know (and I mean, you KNOW), that the spirit realm is as valid and feels as tangible as the material plane, if not more so. It is manifested in a deep psychological sense of completeness, connectedness and equanimity, as well as all the physical behaviors that originate from this superabundant space. If you've never had that enlightening experience, make a routine of sitting quietly for a short time each day. It may take time, but you'll get there and its SO worth the effort.

(People who have had near death experiences claim a profoundly deep connection with beings on the other side - an experience so "tangible" and so acute that it defies logic. It feels so real, it is almost painful - I told you it was illogical. I know this only because as I am one of those eccentrics who has had the pleasure of this other-worldly experience, which some day I will elaborate on.)

What does the science say? It appears we are wired to experience a mystical state of connection with the divine. It is in this enlightened state that the neurons in certain parts of our brain align and fire together, which is different from how the brain functions most of the time. We could call these parts of the brain the "Selflessness Foci". They override, or at least reduce activity in the part of our brain that I dub the "Center for Self-Centeredness" (i.e. the Medial Prefrontal Cortex). The brain itself wants to be in a mystical state (I have often heard my brain shouting "Chill, sister! Chill!"). That's because in this state we experience high levels of creativity and loving-kindness. Pain and sorrow cease to exist. We are in a state of wellbeing and our attention is laser-focused. Its really no wonder that our brain wants to hang out in the love zone. To borrow a hippie phrase, it helps us to "be the change we want to see in the world", and that is empowering.

Science, as you know, tells us that anything that can't be explained empirically (with observable, repeatable evidence), is invalid. Empiricism would explain that those powerful, life-altering mystical states are the result of certain neurons firing rather than the cause of certain neurons firing. The radical behaviorist movement, an ultimate exercise in empiricism, was a result of the operant conditioning experiments by the psychologist B.F. Skinner half a century ago. Learning about radical behaviorism broke my worldview.  It is antithetical to mysticism. A sad state of confusion engulfed me until I remembered that it is possible to hold opposite worldviews at the same time. This balancing act has resulted in a little uncomfortable cognitive dissonance at times. But it had to be done (When things seemingly don't fit together, you get creative to find ways to make them fit). How did I do this? I determined that Skinner never had a mystical experience in his life. The intensity of the mystical experience is so great, that it would have caused him at least some doubt of his tightly-held beliefs (i.e. that truth is limited to the physical plane). For me, that determination was enough to ease some of my cognitive dissonance.

So does the biology of the brain actually create the mystical state, or does it exist separate from the brain? Good question.  One thing that is changing the game is that science is hypothesizing the quantum mind. This hypothesis proposes that certain experiences (i.e. consciousness) break the logic of classical physics, which is the basis for our understanding of how the brain works. Could it be that the mind is a quantum phenomenon? We can now study quantum behaviors in atoms, so why not?

 It is my hope that one day our minds will be blown when we are able explain through quantum mechanics that experiences of the mind are actually a marriage of the mystical and physical. Until then, I am reconciled, or at least committed to holding the paradox and welcoming all of the information and experience I can get my hands on. And eating Reese's peanut butter cups.

Dealing with Distractions

This morning was a test in mindfulness. You know how it is... when you have plans and expectations and they get derailed. That can be so irritating! It started when I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Really, I didn't. But my teenage son's alarm went off early to remind him to get up and shower before school. Four times that darn alarm screamed "Beep! Beep! Beep!" all the way from his room to mine. Needless to say, the shower thing didn't happen. And by the time my alarm went off, things were not pretty. I was cranky.

Some days this just feels too early!

So our morning routine looks like this pretty much every day. Usually all I ask is that he keep his bedroom door closed so that I can sleep through his alarm. Although to be fair, I can still hear his alarm through the closed door, but it's not so jolting that it irritates me like it did this morning.

Fast forward one hour. My son has left to catch the school bus, and he's off to a productive day at school. I hope. The house is peacefully quiet as my two college-student sons and husband still slumber quietly. Oh what gloriousness this quiet time is. I have just fired up the computer. My expectations are high for a half hour or 45 minutes uninterrupted by distractions. I can work on a project I've been intending to do for the last few months. I'll just get started before the bustle of the day begins. I have put this off, over and over, and I've actually planned my schedule so that I could get this project started today. I hate procrastination (but that doesn't mean I'm not a procrastinator. After all, its been months).

Often I just need to pause and prioritize

Guess. Go ahead, just guess what happens next. Yep, in walks my son who has missed the school bus. "Mom, can you take me to school?" There goes my long-awaited half-hour. Now, you might think that I might be crying inside, especially since my expectations had been repeatedly disappointed over the course of the morning (really, its been one thing and another, I've simplified my morning for the sake of your nerves). But this thing occurred that has kept me on the "good mother" path. During the few minutes of silence between the time when he walked out the door and walked back in, I had taken a few minutes to cultivate mindfulness. You might envision me sitting stiffly on my well-worn zafu. In a lotus position, mind you. But nope, instead I stealthily crawled back into bed where my husband has kept the bed warm (it's darn cold outside, who wants to sit in a cold room?). Sometimes this is where my active mindfulness practice occurs (to be frank, sometimes I fall back asleep). But is this what mindfulness looks like? Climbing back into bed? Maybe not in an Indian Ashram, but in my world, it works.

So I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, creating my intention for the day and doing a little trick that I personally call "mind-melt". Its actually super cool to do. I  do this by allowing my brain to relax completely. For me this feels like melting. The physical sensation mimics the psychological phenomenon. As the tension flows out of my cranium, the thoughts in my mind simply disappear and I find myself in this space of absolute inner quiet. Its fleeting, I'll admit, but I continue to do this exercise over and over again. Some days it happens easily, some days it takes effort. It actually want to keep at it, because the sensation is interesting and the result is phenomenal. (Yes, I said phenomenal). "How?", you ask, dear reader, "How is the result phenomenal?" Well, the way I see it is that just 10 minutes of this exercise usually gets me through the day, even a rough day, without screaming or pulling my hair out even if I feel frustrated or irritated, or downright pissed off (and I think in generally, I have a fair amount to scream and pull hair out about). It's sort of like drinking a 12-hour magical potion of tolerance.

So, back to my story. I am finally working on the project I have been planning and I'm in the groove. Ah, the beauty of flow. But life steps in and my attention is pulled in different directions again. "Pay attention to me", calls one interruption. "And me, I need your attention too", says another.

Do we need to escape or embrace?

Fortunately, I am prepared today and any irritation, which might otherwise evoke a sharp "I'm freakin' busy, can't you see that?!", rolls like water off a duck's back. Today, I say to the world "Bring it on, I'm ready".